Repentance: Down is Up

These posts on Repentance are intended to be read in order beginning with Repentance: Introduction. At the bottom of each post is a link to the next post. This is a post script on repentance.

A good friend of mine once confided in me about his disappointment in not getting called as a Bishop or member of a High Council. He was confused and disappointed because he was promised in his Patriarchal Blessing that he would take his place among the leaders of the Church. He was in his fifties and had not yet been called to be a leader, not even at a ward level. I use the word leader as the church and its people use it--a leader by virtue of the position held.

I thought of my own disappointment in not being called to be the Bishop after a Bishopric I was serving in was released. I was a counselor at the time, and thought for sure that it was my time. I was disappointed when I was not called. It would be years later when I was called to be a Bishop, but by that time I wished that they had called someone who really wanted to be Bishop. I liked being the Bishop, however, but mainly because I could control the time in Bishopric and Ward meetings. I didn't cope well in meetings where time was wasted on generalities. I do sometimes look back and think of all the teaching opportunities I missed because I had not yet obtained the word of God, and could not teach with power and authority. 

I have known many who have never been called to any ward leadership offices, only to see themselves as being unworthy or not good enough, or as my friend would say--not validated. But these same brothers could not understand why so-and-so was called and they were not. They wanted to be the one called, even though they may not have aspired to an ecclesiastical leadership position. 

I say this as one who once aspired. But most of those I served with, and most of those who served me in leadership capacities were servants of God. They were humble servants who dedicated their time serving His children. For five years I sat next to one of the brightest and yet most humble High Councilor. He became our Stake President and called me to be Stake Sunday School President, a calling that was one of my greatest blessings. See why. 

He set me apart and through Him the Lord told me to search out what, why and how Christ taught, and I learned what He taught--only His Father's words; why He taught only His Father's words--so that all would desire His Mercy, and how He taught-- in Parables which He used to teach those who did not yet see and hear His Father's words. I am grateful to Cody for that blessing. He is one of my heroes, and I love him.

I share this because it illustrates how our church hierarchy encourages some to aspire to or desire leadership positions. In church culture, leadership positions are often considered an honor to be bestowed upon us. How we are proud that our father was a Bishop or Stake President. Obituaries are filled with this notion that puts the deceased on a pedestal, and reminds the many not called, of their leadership poverty. 

It makes me think of the Zoramites and their 'place for standing.' How each liked to stand on this specially built 'place for standing' or Rameumptom, and proclaim their goodness and specialness. For some of us it's sitting on the stand. One thing that I had missed, however, and one of the reasons I am re-visiting Repentance, is that those who were cast out felt bad because they could not stand upon the tower like their brethren and proclaim their goodness. They were not yet sufficiently humble to be taught of Christ.

They were not only poor as to the things of the world, but they were poor in heart. "We are cast out of our synagogues, that we cannot worship our God" (Alma 32:9). They wanted to worship like their well-to-do former church members. They also wanted to stand up on the Rameumptom and "thank their God that they were chosen of him" (Alma 31:22).

Alma had hoped they were sufficiently humble to be taught the word of God because he knew that only the word of God would bring them down in the depths of humility and then to Christ. 

But Alma used the term lowly in heart rather than poor in heart (Alma 32:8). Of course they were not yet lowly in heart because they lamented again: "What shall we do?--for we are cast out of our synagogues, that we cannot worship our God" (Alma 32:9). Alma knew that only the word of God would cause them to be lowly in heart, with emphasis on down and lowly!

These Zoramites had bought into the philosophy of Korihor, which was to stand up and be counted. They wanted recognition for their lives and they thought it was to stand up and be counted! Korihor preached that up was better than down. Why be dragged down because of the traditions of their fathers? 

Korihor asked why they would "yoke themselves with such foolish things?" Foolish things like being harrowed up by their sins. Foolish things like being brought low because of their nothingness. Foolish things like admitting they were weak and relying alone upon the merits of this so called Christ of which they had no evidence.

No need, said Korihor. You can fare "in this life according to the management of" your talents and hard work. You can prosper "according to your genius...and strength" (Alma 30:16-17). And this is the key: "And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads..." (Alma 30:18).

Whenever we are called to "lift up our heads" you can be sure that this is the  influence of Satan and not the influence of God, except where after falling to our knees, we lift up our heads to Christ. 

If Paul and Nephi could call themselves 'wretched' and if Paul could characterize himself as the “least of all saints” and the “chief of all sinners,” (Ephesians 3:8; 1 Timothy 1:15), then surely their description fits me as well. If I am strong only when I am weak, then it is much better to walk with Nephi "in the path of the low valley" than with those who "make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, and love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi" (Matthew 23:5-7).

But I must confess that I suffer from the need to be recognized. I want others to see me on the path holding fast to the rod of iron. I want them to say of me, did he not speak unto us the words of God! I want others to see me as a modern day Alma, saying nothing but repentance unto this generation. I want to be relevant. 

I want my children and my grandchildren to say of me, now and when I am gone "Our Dad/grandfather taught us so much and gave us the most priceless gift of God's words. He really has the gift of the word of knowledge! He will have joy because of our repentance! He was truly a prophet in the last days! His example to us is that of a chief sinner who was born of God and became a new creature."

Because if no one does, then I worry that I am as a leaf that flutters in the wind, and no one notices. I am nothing. Or if some noise I make is recognized, it is just the chatter of a nobody, and they say without knowing: "Don't pay any attention to him! He left his wife, and family behind! He is the worst father and grandfather!"

But no one knows me better than He does. He is more familiar with my sins than I am, since He has suffered and paid for them. He knows that sometimes I even count His gifts to me as my gifts to Him. 

Why is it then that after teaching a class, when someone comes up after and tells me what a great lesson I gave, I feel terribly uncomfortable? I do not want their praise, because all I did was teach what He taught me. Yeah, right! It is more likely that I am not comfortable because they may see that my humility is feigned. 

And this is the other reason I am re-visting repentance. Repentance is for me, as it is for you, a full-time job.

And no matter how hard I might try, I cannot rid myself of this need for recognition. It is my capacity for this sin and the multitude of other sins that must be changed. 

Christ knows all this about me. He knows all that I have done and all that I still do, or do not do. And He can work with someone like me. And He has and is. His Grace is sufficient for me! He does stand between me and justice!

The paradox is that He blesses me with the very gifts that if used, sometimes bring about the praises of men, and the criticism of others who know of my nothingness, and of my failure to live up to their standards or the standards of better people than I am. But to me it is a constant reminder that I need Him every hour, no, every minute, every second. I know what Paul meant when he said that when he is weak, then he is strong--because of Him! I know it!

But way more often there is no recognition, no praise. Just silence. And I feel a fraction of what He must feel when so many ignore His words and ridicule Him with their silence. Who is this sower of seeds? Who is this teacher of parables? Isn't he dead?

I no longer want the recognition that comes from sitting on the stand or being a leader in the church. But I want others to recognize His gifts to me! I want my family to recognize His gifts to me!

I know, however, that God is not impressed by display, and he does not need publicity. The world will always turn its attention to the highly placed, to the well known, to the visibly important, to those with means, to those on the stand. But God loves humility. He honors those who desire His righteousness, rather than those who are known by others for being righteous. The world will always ask, “Is not this the carpenter’s son” (Mathew 13:55)? 

There is a second paradox. While I would like recognition for His gifts to me, Christ certainly doesn't need me to teach His words. He has already taught them much more effectively than I ever will. But I need to teach them! For me and hopefully for you. I still want you to someday say "thank you for teaching me, for calling me to repentance, for using His words to turn or return me to my Savior." 

But I sin in wanting this. I have to ask Him everyday for those who hear His words through me, to thank Him and deny not His gifts and His power. It is His words I want them to hear, not mine. I pray constantly that I desire His righteousness, to be a follower of His Righteousness, yea, even a greater follower. 

Hopefully when that happens He will have changed me enough to rejoice in Him, and not have any more desire to make broad my phylacteries. Yet I tremble when I think of wanting others to see my righteousness. 

I know that I am called to cry repentance unto this people. And I want that I should labor all my days in crying repentance unto this people. I want to bring many to Him, but if I only bring one, I want that my joy shall be great with him in the kingdom of my Father! In this I do not think that I sin.

What Is Christ's Gospel?

If you were to ask what is the greatest good, I would direct you to the Lord’s answer. Joseph's ministry was to proclaim Christ's Gospel, and in doing so “will do the greatest good,” and will “promote the glory of him who is your Lord” (D&C 81:3-4 emphasis added).

After a discussion with a friend of mine, who has been a lifelong church member, about the Gospel of Jesus  Christ, and feeling his resistance to what Christ teaches us concerning His Gospel, I felt the urgency to share Christ's own words (actually the words of His Father) where Jesus tells us what His Gospel is. I couldn't understand my friend's resistance because this friend, in my opinion, has a brilliant mind and has a wealth of knowledge stored in his mind and heart, which he has spent a lifetime gathering, and which he liberally shares to the delight of many, including me. Why would he resist a truth like Christ's definition of His Gospel? I thought that surely this man would welcome this knowledge.

In fairness I must say that he was not aware that Christ has so succinctly defined His Gospel, but even when I introduced it to him, he resisted it. He didn't want to know. It did not seem important to him. And I wondered why.

I don't use the word truth loosely. It also is defined by God--the word of the Lord is truth (D&C 84:45). And I always start by defining truth as God's words, and by connecting God's words to Christ's Gospel, we can come to know the truth concerning His Gospel.

Your response to this, I suppose, could be the same but could be different depending on two factors.

First, do the words of Christ matter to you when discussing His Gospel, or are you content with what you think His Gospel is?

Second, if you resist His words, do you resist because you:

a. Have not heard this taught from the pulpit?

b. Were not aware that Christ actually defined His gospel? 

c. Don't believe His words or that His words are truth?

d. Are just not interested or just don't care? or

e. Are too busy living the gospel? 

(I say this sarcastically because compared to the Lord's definition, "living the gospel' is a fiction that feeds the many.)

I can understand not being aware of His clear and concise definition, but cannot understand an indifferent reaction when shown just how clear it is. 

Christ lays the groundwork before He defines His gospel by telling us that no church should be named using His name unless its people are "built upon my Gospel" because if they are not built upon my Gospel, they are built upon the works of men or the works of Satan and are not of my Church (3 Nephi 27:8-11). 

In these four verses He uses the phrase my gospel four times! Now to me His use of this phrase my gospel makes me want to know what He means when He says my gospel! It would be my first question! As you read the italicized comments focus on His words. This is a key to searching the words of God-- when He uses a term like gospel or repentance, He always defines it somewhere. Hence the need to search. And the brief comments may aid you in that search.

Read 3 Nephi 27:13-21 as if He is speaking directly to you, because He is! Remember what the Father said--this is my beloved son. Hear ye him.

He begins by saying:

"Behold I have given unto you my gospel, 

There is no ambiguity here. He gave this same Gospel to Adam and Eve, to those He taught as Jehovah, to those He taught as the mortal Jesus, and to those He is teaching in 3 Nephi, as the resurrected Christ. It is the same Gospel taught by Nephi, Alma, Mormon and all the other Book of Mormon prophet writers, by Paul and Joseph Smith.

"and this is the gospel which I have given unto you

This is the gospel which I have given you! He is preparing you to listen to what He is about to say. I have given unto you my gospel and this is it, so listen and hear Me! Ask yourself: can you hear His voice in His words as He speaks them to you?

"—that I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me.

He is the gospel, the good news, and His Father sent Him. He came down into the world, or as the angel asked Nephi "Knowest thou the condescension of God? (1 Nephi 11:16). His coming to earth to do the will of His Father is both the condescension of the Father and the Son--the Father, because He sent His Son, and the Son, because He was sent by His Father. He now tells you why.

"And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; 

Listen carefully to what He is saying to you. His Father sent Him to die on the cross, to be lifted up upon the cross. It is significant that God allowed men to lift His Son up and nail Him to the cross. Christ gave up His life by allowing men to raise Him up. Why is it significant that both He and His Father allowed this to happen?

"and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, 

Here He says that He was lifted up on the cross so that He might draw all unto Him, even you. Perhaps the cross should have more significance to us.

"that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, 

Because that He was lifted up by men, all should be lifted up by His Father. Why?

"to stand before me, to be judged of their works, 

Substitute 'their works' with 'your works' and think of yourself standing before Him to be judged of your works.

"whether they be good or whether they be evil— 

Regardless of whether your works are good or evil, the key here is that the demands of justice must be met. My friend admitted that He did not want to be judged by His works. What he didn't know was how to avoid it, and that is The Good News, His Gospel.

"And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works. 

He uses the phrase 'lifted up' in connection with drawing or lifting up all men three times. And so you can rest assured that you and everyone else, by the power of His Father, are to stand before Him to be judged. No one can escape His judgment. 

He now will tell you what you should do before you are drawn to Him or lifted up to stand before Him and be judged.

"And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; 

Here He is teaching you the doctrine of His Father, the only doctrine of the Father and the Son (3 Nephi 11:32-40). Note the phrasing of 'this is my doctrine' in 3 Nephi 11 is the same as "this is my gospel.' Just as important as knowing how Christ defines His Gospel is knowing how He defines repentance, baptism and enduring in faith in Christ to the end (2 Nephi 31&32). We continue searching His words until we make the intended connections, and 'see' the difference between His Gospel and His Doctrine. 

Being filled is to be filled with fire and with the Holy Ghost as the Father beareth record to you (3 Nephi 11:35). Without this witness you are not yet born again!

"and if he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world. 

An important part of His Gospel is to endure to the end, and you do this as you continually repent, turn to Him and rely wholly upon His merits until the end. And the result? HIM I WILL HOLD GUILTLESS before His Father as He stands to judge the world. Can you imagine? 

And what about those who do not endure to the end?

"And he that endureth not unto the end, the same is he that is also hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence they can no more return, because of the justice of the Father. 

It is either His Justice or His mercy. If you choose to be judged by your works, you subject yourself to His maximum punishment--hewn down and cast into the fire--all the demands of justice as opposed to being found guiltless. If we would want to be covered by a mountain rather than be judged by Him, He gives us the choice of mercy.

"And this is the word which he hath given unto the children of men. And for this cause he fulfilleth the words which he hath given, and he lieth not, but fulfilleth all his words. 

Christ emphasizes the importance of His Father's words which He has given unto you. In the Son are His Father's words being fulfilled.

"And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end. 

You will only become clean because your garments have been washed in His blood, and it will be because of

1) your faith in Him and His merits, not your own,

2) the repentance of all your sins (you have given them all to Him), and

3) your faithfulness in Him unto the end.

"Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day. 

These are His commandments or what we can do, and what we receive when we keep these commandments:

1) Repent and come unto Him,

2) Be baptized properly in His name whereby your sins die in Him and you are born of water and freed from being captive to your sins,

3) That you may be sanctified by fire and the Holy Gost (be born of fire),

4) That you may STAND SPOTLESS BEFORE HIM at His judgment. 

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel" (3 Nephi 27:13-21).

He begins by saying: what I am about to tell you is my Gospel.

         ".......My Gospel......."

He ends by saying: what I just told you is my Gospel.

So what He says between verse 13 and verse 21 is His Gospel given directly to you by Jesus Christ. 

I call your attention to what He says in verse 18: "This is his word which he has given unto the children of men". A reminder that His Father is the source of His words.

To someone like my brilliant friend why would he resist? Why would these words of Christ fall by the wayside? The answers to my questions are found in the Parable of the Sower.

Can I suggest an experiment? Read this post on the Parable of the Sower, followed by reading 3 Nephi 27:13-21 from your scriptures. Now ask yourself: what obstacles, if any, may prevent me from receiving into my heart Christ's words in 3 Nephi 27:13-21?

I hope that both you and my friend will soon be sharing Christ's real Gospel with others, so they too may receive His mercy, and that you both know as I do know, and the knowledge that I have is of God. Who would not want to know that at the judgment they can be found guiltless and spotless because of His righteousness? 

Jesus is indeed the Good News! He stands between us and God's justice! 

David - A Prodigal Son

This is posted with David's permission. 

I first met David when he was ten or eleven years old. It was at our ward in Lehi, Utah. Anyone who met David could not help but be captivated by him. His mother who is Muslim would bring David and his sister to church each Sunday. She had previously been married to a member of the Church, who had died when David and Arianna were young. They had been baptized and their mother wanted them to stay involved in the Church.

Because David's mother spoke French, she and Annie connected, and became good friends. She later asked if David and Ari could adopt us as their grandparents. Of course, we said yes and have loved them, and worried about them just like the rest of our grandchildren. 

Since everyone is special and distinct to our Heavenly Father, it is accurate to say that David is special. Special to us in the sense that he is woven into our lives. 

His own words at his mission farewell talk may best describe his teenage years. 

I was disobedient and lived a double life. I walked many dark roads in the past ten years seeking for peace, truth, and happiness, and even if there was a God, why would he want to help me? I transgressed away from this God, so why should he help me? "For God so loved the world, that he gave his Only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

Somewhere deep inside I wanted to change my ways, but I continued in my sins and the consequences of my choices were depression, fear, stress, low self esteem, hatred, anger, being numb, etc. I tried going from one pursuit to another only to find false happiness. I truly wanted happiness, peace and comfort in my life, but didn't know where to go to find it. I would attend church, young men, scouts, etc. to put up a facade. I had no interest in reading the scriptures whatsoever. 

I always wanted people to think I was a good guy (he succeeded). In the year 2013 I gained a weak testimony of Jesus Christ, but didn't understand the Gospel and I acted like a Pharisee. (Quotes Matthew 23:27). I would judge others for their sins while mocking them and then I would act as if I was righteous and free from sin. This wasn't the case. Inside I was miserable.

This was the David I knew, but I also saw so much goodness and light in him. He was loved by those in the ward, especially some of the older members, because he always had a smile and kind words for them. He quit attending church on a regular basis, finding excuses not to attend. He asked to work on Sundays so he would have a good excuse. He justified this by telling himself he was spiritual and that he didn't need church. I texted him and told him I was disappointed that I didn't see him at church. He commented on this in his farewell talk.

My Grandpa Burt saw past my 'good deeds' and my 'spiritual activities.' I was shocked. I started to attend church wanting to change, but couldn't. It was impossible with my carnal desires. My heart was set upon the things of the world and no matter how much effort or work I did, I fell back into my old snares. 

I didn't partake of the sacrament because I was told I was unworthy. After a while my Grandma, Sister Burt gave me talk called the significance of the sacrament. I sat there reading this talk, with tears running down my face. I knew I needed to partake of the sacrament. If I didn't Jesus Christ wouldn't be able to heal me because I wasn't letting him in. "The Lord surely should come to redeem his people, but that he should not come to redeem them in their sins, but to redeem them from their sins" (Helaman 5:10).

After that meeting I slowly started to feel a change within my heart, my desires were changing, my thoughts, my friends, my words, everything was being changed. Now this wasn't because of myself. I'm not capable of change in my carnal state. I can make different choices, which may seem like change, but if my heart is set then did I really change in the first place? I needed to have my heart changed. I heard of the term 'change of heart' but didn't understand at all. I over stacked my shelf with self help books, thinking I would be changed. My outside performance did change, but inside I never changed. 

I'm grateful I received an answer on who may change my heart and that is God. "Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word..." (Alma 5:7).

David loved to come over and we would spend hours talking about the word of God and it importance in keeping us in the way. He was a natural when it came to teaching God's words to others. He seemed to know that God's words would take us beyond this veil of sorrow into a far better land of promise. 

He could quote the scriptures and teach what he had learned, but as he said in his farewell talk:

To continue with the passage of the flashlight (using it to view a painting), and so with my life I could only see with this flashlight, the light I have, but because I turned to the Lord I received his light and through his light I became more aware of my disposition and with turning to the Lord he slowly took away my disposition to do evil, and he healed me through his words. ...Because I have walked down dark roads I have come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ and his mercy towards the children of men. ...I too have tasted the bitter so that I might prize the Good.

David served in the Paris, France mission. We had a chance to visit him once while he was serving near Brussels. He came home, and seemed to be doing well. He had met a sister missionary in France, and they dated for a while, but then David started to make some very bad choices that have proven to complicate and almost destroy his life. 

I often wondered what happened to David? Why? What did I do wrong? I experienced a range of emotions including disappointment. I was angry with him. But that was because I was thinking of me. When I felt God's love for him, I felt that love for him. I was sad because he had complicated his life, but hopeful.

One thing I missed, however, is that with David's personality, he still believed he had to do all the work. He had not yet come to know through personal revelation that it was through the grace of God that we are changed. His experience with the Grace of God was minimal. Perhaps to him that truth was just information he gleaned from the scriptures, and while he could verbalize it, he did not know for himself. He was still a babe, but was being weaned and was seeking more of God's words. He did not yet have the Spirit of Revelation. 

I think the praise of, and a desire to please others, was a factor in why he went on a mission. Sure he was gaining a testimony of Christ, and wanted to serve Him, but was the desire to teach others of Christ overwhelming? He had, after all, been praised his whole life. Praise which he said he was unworthy of. When he returned home, following his homecoming, most of those who had praised him were no longer around telling him how good he was because he had served a mission. He needed that as we all do. Perhaps his new friends flattered him instead. Flattery is a tool of Satan, and instead of praise, Satan flattered him and carefully led him down toward hell.

But don't get me wrong. David, like all of us, deserve to be praised (not flattered), but real praise. We need to be cared about and recognized. We also deserve to be loved. We do not have to earn it. We are all God's children.

I share His experience in hell, again with his permission:

“The Prodigal Son”

I’ve been away for a while. I was out trying to find the prodigal son, and one day stumbled across a pond of water and there He was!!! So I jumped in the water and tried to get Him out, splashing and really making a mess of the whole situation. After I lost My strength I got a clearer look and found Myself, bruised, tattered, beaten by thoughts of others, self-proclaimed praises mixed with self deprecating jokes and actions that even the angels couldn’t bear to watch. 

Ashamed of what I’d become I set out to “re-create Myself” using chemicals, mistreating women, and giving up the faith I swore to protect. 

On My journey I discovered the seven deadly sins, weary spirits who roamed from tabernacle to tabernacle in hopes to destroy and serve their master. I experienced all seven. I even walked with death. We danced for a while and then She got bored, said We were “just friends” and that Her kisses are special. Maybe one day. 

I discovered mental illness and disease. I discovered I have something called bipolar disorder. I wonder if I grew up with, if it came after Dad died, or if it was from mixing ten drugs in a night. Whatever it is, I better make a bed for it, I wouldn’t want it to get cold and uncomfortable. 

I even discovered heart break. I guess in order to understand God and His Plan I’ve got to understand what it means to lose the most precious element of existence, which is love. 

I’ve lost a lot. Friendships crumbled because I exercised greed. Relationships buried because I exercised lust. Amends never made because I exercised pride. Paths never crossed because I exercised slothfulness. Moments I stole because of envy. My body cries for help because I became gluttonous and self afflicted wounds because I used wrath over compassion. 

Like I said I ran into the seven deadly sins and because of turning away from God, I’ve watched best friends become enemies, I slept in My car while My ex malfunctioned in our apartment and I almost gave up.

A shell of The Man I once knew I walked into darkness hoping to leave this world behind Me. And as I made My bed and called death over for that lucky kiss I saw a transcendent light in the distance. It was buried in the ground yet sticking out just enough where I could reach it if I tried.

I started to dig until My knuckles bled! I was ready to give up when I pulled with all My might and discovered a microphone.

I performed for a room full of strangers and familiar faces too and I started to experience light, love, and joy. Being in the present moment, shining light, into My Heart and Soul. My God-given gift.

Now that I’ve performed over 350 times. I’ve realized that it’s okay to repent. God wants Me to experience life and choose good from evil. I believe that the path I’m on right now, as a comedian, is My way of coming back to the fold, as a penitent child.

I realize I’ve done a lot of bad and I’ve hurt a lot of people because I was choosing darkness. And now that I’ve repented of My sins I testify that, 

the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light⁠, and whatsoever is light is Spirit⁠, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. I hope He continues to shine his light on Me. I’m going back to church.

If David hopes for the Lord's light to shine on him, he will be disappointed for His light grows from within. The paradox of light and darkness is that they are mutually exclusive in the sense that we are either receiving more light or we are receiving less light. It is either growing brighter or getting darker. I pray that David will continue to turn to that Light. (The Parable of the Prodigal Son is, after all, about the Father.) 

The Lord led him to a microphone and to the light of Christ in the community of others, but there is so much more light to receive. He has discovered again his appetite for the word of God which is the light of Christ. I pray that he hungers and thirsts for it once again and feasts upon it.

When the spotlight no longer shines on me, and when I no longer receive the accolades of others, does His light still shine in me? Or am I left with my own meager spark? Languishing because there is no one praising me? Can others experience His light in me? 

There is only One to please and that is our Father in Heaven. That is what I hope and pray for David. He is learning, I believe, that God's gifts to Him, in addition to bringing humor and laughter to others, also include  receiving and teaching God's words, so that others may repent and receive His mercy. But glorifying, not himself, but our Father in Heaven. Pleasing not himself, but pleasing God. Losing ourselves to Him is hard work. Believe me, I know! But it is the only way that brings life everlasting. 

Leo Tolstoy wrote once of a priest, who was criticized by one of his congregants for not living as resolutely as he should, the critic concluding that the principles the erring preacher taught must therefore also be erroneous. 

In response to that criticism, the priest says: “Look at my life now and compare it to my former life. You will see that I am trying to live out the truth I proclaim.” Unable to live up to the high ideals he taught, the priest admits he has failed. 

But he cries: “Attack me, [if you wish,] I do this myself, but [don’t] attack … the path I follow. … If I know the way home [but] am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way simply because I am staggering from side to side? 

“… Do not gleefully shout, ‘Look at him! … There he is crawling into a bog!’ No, do not gloat, but give … your help [to anyone trying to walk the road back to God.]”

I first heard this quote by Tolstoy when it was quoted in a General Conference by Elder Holland. This truth still causes my heart to burn from within, as it did the first time I heard it. 

The key is knowing the right way. Don't assume to know the right way until you do! Don't assume to think you are in the right way until you are!

Do not miss the truth here! Do not think yourself better off than David because the holes in your boat may be smaller. It is folly to think that you are better off than David. If we are all sinking from holes of our own making, is there really any solace to be found in the idea that I am sinking more slowly than my neighbor?

David is no more separated from God than we are. Perhaps I have kept only one law while my neighbor has kept ninety and nine. The gulf that remains between each of us and God is nevertheless infinite. We need to do exactly what David needs to do: repentantly fall down before the Lord and rely on his merits to save.

There is joy in heaven over one person who repents. And it is a full time job for all of us!

"Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which [think they] need no repentance" (Luke 15:6-7 emphasis added).

There is no wound that he cannot heal, no gap that he cannot cover, no weakness that he cannot make strong, and no hole that doesn’t need his infinite Atonement.

See Letter to My Grandchildren for remedy to keep them in the way

But We Have the Book! - America

"And now, we can behold the decrees of God concerning this land, that it is a land of promise; and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall serve God, or they shall be swept off when the fulness of his wrath shall come upon them. And the fulness of his wrath cometh upon them when they are ripened in iniquity"(Ether 2:9). 

As I view what is happening in America with respect to immigration, the Constitution, abuse of power, political populism, grinding upon the face of the poor while protecting the rich, the proliferation of disinformation, the use of politics to gain wealth and power, incompetent government leaders, systemic destruction of values, defending the indefensable, and how Americans believe America is 'their' country, I can't help but think of what the Book of Mormon and Isaiah have to say about 'this land' of America, which is described in the Book of Mormon as being choice above all other lands, but only under certain conditions. 

It is quite clear that the majority of Gentiles who now inhabit America are only temporary inhabitants, having 'trodden under foot' that portion of the House of Israel known as Lehi's descendants (3 Nephi 16:8-9). It is also clear that unrepentant Gentiles will be, at some time in the future, 'trodden under foot' of "my people, O house of Israel" (3 Nephi 16:15; 20:15-16). 

This land was given by the Lord, as part of His covenant, to Lehi's descendants* the land of their inheritance, and not permanently to the unrepentant Gentiles who now call themselves Americans.

"And the Father hath commanded me (Christ) that I should give unto you this land, for your inheritance" (3 Nephi 20:14 emphasis added).

*There are approximately 56 million indigenous people of the Americas, but not all are Lehi's descendants. 

There is a reason America is called the promised land. It was promised to Lehi's descendants by the Lord, first as a refuge, then later as their land of inheritance. "And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that I, the Lord, am God; and that I, the Lord, did deliver you from destruction; yea, that I did bring you out of the land of Jerusalem" (1 Nephi 17:13-14 emphasis added).

Elaborating on the significance of this decree, Hugh Nibley observed:

"This land is the choice land above all other lands'.... But God placed the promise upon it 'in his wrath' (Jacob 1:7; Alma 12:35; Ether 1:33; 2;8; 15;28). Why that, of all things? Because his patience was at an end when men had defiled all the other lands in the glorious and beautiful world he had given them. He would set apart a place where he would stand for no nonsense; there men would be given such a freedom as nowhere else, and could enjoy such a prosperity as nowhere else.

But in return for this liberty, certain ground rules have to be observed. Perfect liberty means that you can go as far as you want, free of many of the age-old hampering restraints imposed by man; since this is a place of testing, that is the purpose of leaving everyone pretty much on his own. But when the inhabitants abuse that freedom until they 'are ripened in iniquity,' their presence will no longer be tolerated; 'when the fulness of his wrath should come' they will be 'swept off,' suddenly and completely (Ether 2:8). As it was in the days of Noah, it shall be business as usual, right up until the last moment, for it is 'not until the fulness of his wrath,' which 'cometh upon them when they are ripened in iniquity,' that they be abruptly terminated (Ether 2:8-10). 

God was angry when he laid down these conditions: 'These are my thoughts upon the land which I shall give you for your inheritance; for it shall be a land choice above all other lands.' And these are the thoughts: 'My Spirit will not always strive with man; wherefore, if ye will sin until ye are fully ripe ye shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord (Ether 2:15). This promise is conveyed to us for our special benefit: 'And this cometh to you O ye Gentiles, that ye may know the decrees of God--that ye may repent, and not continue in your iniquities until the fulness come, that ye may not bring down the fulness of the wrath of God upon you as the inhabitants of the land have hitherto done (Ether 2:11).

It is Moroni's prophetic warning to stop what we are doing. Fullness and ripeness: when the cup if full, it can no longer be diluted; when the fruit is ripe, it can only rot--there is no point in continuing the game..... 

'Promised land' has a nice upbeat sound that we like very much, but the great promise is worded as a curse: 'Thus saith the Lord God--Cursed shall be the land, yea, this land, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, unto destruction, which do wickedly, when they are fully ripe;.... for this is the cursing and the blessing of God upon this land' (Alma 45:16). 

When Lehi's party had barely left Jerusalem, Nephi had a vision in which he 'looked and beheld the land of promise.' And what did he see? 'A mist of darkness on the face of the land of promise,' and horrible destruction and desolation (1 Nephi 12:4). Obviously one is not home-free when he has set foot upon the land of promise. Quite the opposite; from then on he must watch his step and control the impulse to do whatever he pleases and 'have it all.' For 'God has sworn in his wrath' that what went on in other lands should not go on here. There are nations that were old when Nephi left Jerusalem and whose cultures and languages, customs, manners, and traditions still survive. They have all paid a high price in human suffering as they go along from folly to folly and disaster to disaster, but they are still there. 

It is not so in the New World, where great civilizations vanish without even leaving us their names, and where no high civilization has survived. It is significant that with all the warnings and promising, only one penalty is ever mentioned, and only one means of avoiding it. 'Prophets, and the priests, and the teachers, did labor diligently;...and...by so doing they kept them from being destroyed upon the face of the land; for they did prick their hearts with the word, continually stirring them up to repentance' (Jarom 1:11-12). The penalty is destruction; the deliverance: repentance. (Collected Works, 8:504-06 emphasis added). 

A brief history is helpful here. God deliberately kept the American continent hidden until the Roman Empire had broken up and the various nations had established themselves as independent kingdoms. Nobody in Europe had any conception or suspicion of the existence of the continent that we call America. America was hidden, said Lehi, because otherwise "many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance' (2 Nephi 1:8). Lehi's words cannot be fully appreciated without a brief glimpse at what Columbus would open up to the view of Europeans coming from the Old world. 

Everywhere at home the visions of Europeans fell upon horizons closed in by known landmarks or by defined frontiers--not only at the remote marches across which total strangers held sway but also at the nearby boundaries of counties, baronies, estates, communes--all barred off, unavailable, already appropriated by others. Comfort in closeness offset the confining quality of narrow boundaries. Sight of a neighboring village was a reminder of both the limits of this one and the proximity of the next. 

And once the Lord saw fit to guide Columbus to discover the 'New World,' it was a race of the European nations to come and claim all they could. The Spanish and the Portuguese in Mexico, Central and South America; and the English and French in North America--the Gentile nations--as Nephi saw in vision. At one time soon thereafter, the French claimed all the land in North America, with the exception of the Colonies, east of the Mississippi River, from Quebec to Louisiana. As part of the treaty to end the Hundred-Year War with England, France gave up all the land to Britain, except for Quebec and Louisiana. This set the stage for the Revolutionary War, and helps us understand another reason we were aided by the French. 

All that Nephi saw concerning:

• Columbus; 
• the multitudes of Gentiles upon the land of promise; 
• the Revolution and the Gentiles being delivered by the power of God; 
• the book containing a record of the Jews; 
• the founding fathers and the Constitution; 
• the Gentiles not completely destroying Lehi's descendants; 
• the Gentiles remaining in an awful state of blindness because of the plain and precious things taken from the Bible; 
• the coming forth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon to the Gentiles; 
• that if the Gentiles did not harden their hearts against the Gospel of the Lamb, they should become a blessed people; 
• America becoming the greatest nation among the Gentiles; 
• the Gentiles eventually turning away from the Lord;
• Lehi's descendants turning to the Lord and inheriting their land of promise;
• and treading the unrepentant Gentiles under foot in the same manner as the Gentiles did to them (1 Nephi 12-15; 22; 3 Nephi 16; 20-21)--

--have all come to pass as prophesied or will come to pass, also as prophesied. 

America is given to Lehi's descendants as their land of promise. The Gentiles were given the same promise, but have proven to be unworthy of this choice land, and will be swept off from the face of the land. 

The Gentiles only hope? Repent!

"But wo, saith the Father, unto the unbelieving of the Gentiles—for notwithstanding they have come forth upon the face of this land, and have scattered my people who are of the house of Israel; and my people who are of the house of Israel have been cast out from among them, and have been trodden under feet by them; 

And because of the mercies of the Father unto the Gentiles, and also the judgments of the Father upon my people who are of the house of Israel, verily, verily, I say unto you, that after all this, and I have caused my people who are of the house of Israel to be smitten, and to be afflicted, and to be slain, and to be cast out from among them, and to become hated by them, and to become a hiss and a byword among them" (3 Nephi 16:8).

Notwithstanding their history, concerning the Gentiles, Christ said:

"But if they will not turn unto me, and hearken unto my voice, I will suffer them, yea, I will suffer my people, O house of Israel, that they shall go through among them, and shall tread them down, and they shall be as salt that hath lost its savor, which is thenceforth good for nothing but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of my people, O house of Israel" (3 Nephi 16:15 emphasis added).

Note the reversal from being trodden under foot of the Gentiles to the Gentiles being trodden underfoot of Lehi's descendants. 

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, thus hath the Father commanded me—that I should give unto this people this land for their inheritance. And then the words of the prophet Isaiah shall be fulfilled, which say: Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; with the voice together shall they sing, for they shall see eye to eye when the Lord shall bring again Zion. Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem" (3 Nephi 16:16-19).

The irony, in light of these prophecies, of promoting the slogan to make America great again, in the midst of national and individual degeneration, is the height of ignorance and arrogance. Which is also true of those Ephraimite Gentiles who not believe these prophecies, who think that all is well in Zion, but that it is others who are to blame.

"Wherefore, I will consecrate this land unto thy seed, and them who shall be numbered among thy seed, forever, for the land of their inheritance; for it is a choice land, saith God unto me, above all other lands, wherefore I will have all men that dwell thereon that they shall worship me, saith God" (2 Nephi 10:19). And not by force or coercion, but by choice.

What will be the turning point? The national and individual degeneration of the Gentiles or the failure of the Ephraimite Gentiles to turn to Christ and repent? It is the latter, so instead of pointing the finger at national and local leaders, look instead at yourself among the Lord's people in these times.

Mormon’s mourning the loss of his people the Nephites—that once they “had Christ for their shepherd” and “were led even by God the Father,” but were now “without Christ and God in the world” and were “led about by Satan” (Mormon 5:16–18)—simultaneously depicts their righteousness and wickedness. It shows that a people’s attaining such righteousness is no guarantee that they would not slip into wickedness and in the end lose both body and soul. 

From what Isaiah and Nephi saw of our day, we might do well to take warning, lest we be the very ones “utterly destroyed” before Christ comes (Isaiah 10:22–23; 2 Nephi 30:1; Ether 2:11). With even the humble followers of Christ being “led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men,” putting our “trust in man” and assuming “all is well in Zion” (2 Nephi 28:14, 21–31) won’t save us from the same fate as this land’s former inhabitants. 

Because the scriptures say it is on account of the wickedness of God’s end-time people who are of the covenant that his judgments come upon the whole world—they being the last bastion of righteousness—what promise have we of being among the remnant that survives this worldwide destruction? Nowhere do the scriptures say the church will not apostatize, as many assume, only that the priesthood will not be taken from the earth (Doctrine & Covenants 2:1; 13:1; 86:10). 

Correctly assuming with Nephi, therefore, that Isaiah’s prophecies of destruction and deliverance will be fulfilled at the end of the world (2 Nephi 25:7–8), we have a promise that some among us will not only not be destroyed, but that the reason will be because they will be turned to Christ and are ascending to a higher state of righteousness. To rise above the wickedness that prevails, it will surely be indispensable that at least a representation of souls must again be “led even by God the Father.” 

How else shall men walk through the same fire that destroys the wicked—as Isaiah and Nephi saw—in the act of bringing remnants of the house of Israel both to the Old and New Jerusalem, to establish Zion (Isaiah 43:2–8; 49:22–23;1 Nephi 22:17)? How else shall men be translated and gain power over enemies and the elements and establish Zion as Enoch did, so the Lord may come and dwell with them (Moses 7:18–20)? Did not Nephite prophets show us how that kind of divine empowerment could actually happen? 

Certainly, we cannot assume that “being led even by God the Father” is something common in the gospel of Jesus Christ and thus explain away needing to live to a higher standard as a birthright tribe in Israel. As we enter this life-and-death phase in the world’s end-time scenario, each of us is responsible for letting ourselves be led—be it by a man or men, the Holy Ghost, Jesus himself, or by God the Father. We can never be wrong by relying wholly upon the merits of Christ, for He will always bring us to our God, our Father.

There is a basis for the Lord to take the fulness of His gospel from us, and to quote Christ: "And then will I remember my covenant which I have made unto my people, O house of Israel, and I will bring my gospel unto them" (3 Nephi 16:10-11). Lehi’s descendants will then be given this land as their land of inheritance as promised them by the Lord. And us? If we fail to repent and turn to Christ, in order to be led by God, we will be the salt of the earth that has lost its savor (3 Nephi 16:13-15).

To shed more light on us (Ephraimite Gentiles) being the cause of these endtime events concerning America, let's examine Isaiah 28. 

Isaiah 28 addresses Ephraim. Keep in mind that because "all things that he (Isaiah) spake have been and shall be" (3 Nephi 23:3), the description of Ephraim as a people and a nation is both historical and prophetic.

Isaiah depicts the Ephraimite nation (America in our time), as drunk, but the 'wine' with which the people are drunk refers to wealth and glory, which is fading. The political leaders of Ephraim are drunk and under a curse. The people of Ephraim live in a state of carnal security.

Isaiah foretells the destruction of Ephraim by the hand of the King of Assyria whom the Lord uses to put down the glory of Ephraim. The proud garlands of Ephraim shall be (note the link) trodden under foot. Ephraim assumes that the victories of former years will repeat themselves, but Ephraim is mistaken. The Assyrians overpower the Ephraimites in the Lord's day of judgment.

There is, however, a remnant of Ephraim (Lehi's descendants and those Ephraimite Gentiles who repent) with whom the Lord will renew His covenant in the last days. This remnant whom the Lord refers to as His People" survive the Assyrian attack. The covenant formula "His People" signifies that the Lord renews the covenant "in that day" or the Lord's day of judgment.

Isaiah singles out for condemnation not only political, but also religious leaders. The religious leaders of Ephraim suffer from being intoxicated with the wine of self-deception. This intoxication causes them to lapse in their ministry. This links to another passage in Isaiah that condemns the watchmen of the Lord's people for failing to warn them of the impending judgment (Isaiah 56:10-12).

Isaiah describes Ephraim's "tables" as being filled with vomit. Tables signify symbolically the vehicle for conveying spiritual food. The idea of tables denotes books or tablets containing the word of God. The content of these tables, however, is impure. These tables abound with partially digested truths regurgitated for the people to consume.

Isaiah then introduces the idea of direct revelation and contrasts it with the rote method of learning used by the people of Ephraim. Direct revelation is the Lord's answer to the people's self-deception. Isaiah, however, questions their readiness to receive such pure instruction because they live on a diet of vomit and excrement. He likens them to babes newly weaned who are yet incapable of digesting solid food.

Isaiah uses repetition, assonance and alliteration in the Hebrew to parody satirically the rote method of learning God's word that the people of Ephraim use. This is the schoolmaster method of learning--repeating parrot fashion what the mentor articulates. The idea of precept upon precept appears in three other instances in scripture. All contrast it with a higher form of revelation.

Isaiah reflects a stage of spiritual progression beyond that of weanlings. The revelation the Lord has in mind for his people prepare them for events that will soon occur in rapid succession. Unfortunately, the people of Ephraim do not put themselves in a position to receive such instruction.

Now the Lord refers to the people as "this people" which expresses a negative view of the Lord's people. The incomprehensible speech and strange tongue refers to the foreign tongue of the Assyrians (an unidentified endtime world power). If the Lord's people (Ephraim) do not receive the revelations the Lord desires to give them, then He must speak to them by another alien means. The Lord employs the Assyrians, allowing them to overrun his people's land (America) to put them in mind of Him.

More of the word of God divides those whom the Lord blesses from those He curses. Unfortunately, the people of Ephraim as a whole will not hear anything more than the idea of precept upon precept, here a little, there a little. To them this one aspect represents the whole word of God. They mistake a preparatory Gospel for the Gospel's fullness and thereby reject the fullness of the Gospel (3 Nephi 16).

Isaiah depicts those to whom the word of the Lord remained precept upon precept, as becoming ensnared and taken captive. The imagery used by Isaiah dramatically illustrates the effect of being content with anything less than divine personal revelation. Comparing the rote method of learning with receiving direct instruction from God, Isaiah shows us that one leads to rest (God's presence) and the other to bondage.

To regard the lesser portion of God's word as an end in itself, not as a preparation for the greater portion, means we forfeit our salvation. Isaiah's context of the Lord's day of Judgment adds a note of practical urgency as well as a ring of condemnation. For many it may be too late! Like those with Moses in the wilderness, they harden their hearts at a critical time.

Joseph Smith said: "The principle of knowledge is the principle of salvation. This principle can be comprehended by the faithful and diligent. If a man does not get knowledge he will be brought into captivity by some evil power in the other world as evil spirits will have more knowledge and consequently more power than many men who are on the earth. Hence there needs to be revelation to assist us and give us knowledge of the things of God" (Teachings of The Prophet Joseph Smith p. 217). And he means personal revelation! "Any man that will not receive revelation for himself must be damned" (The Words of Joseph Smith, p. 230).

So at a time in America where most of what we hear are lies upon lies upon lies, do not be deceived into thinking that it is those other Gentiles who are at fault. We get nothing out of the scriptures if we continually think of ourselves as the good guys.

Isaiah teaches us that humanity as a whole will degenerate to the point that both Israel and the nations share Jehovah’s common condemnation. Still, it isn’t America who precipitates this national ruin but the Lord’s alienated people. In a real sense, therefore, the Lord's people today act as a catalyst for what happens to humanity, both national and international.

So it is with the nations (Gentiles) and the Lord's people (Ephraimite  Gentiles) today. We act as a catalyst for what happens to America.

A reversal of circumstances thus takes place between two categories of people in a time of Jehovah’s worldwide judgment: the ruin of transgressors and the rebirth of those who repent.

Next: But We Have The Book! And Its Words Will Judge Us!

This is a series of posts on the Book of Mormon. You can read the Introductory post via this link.