Why I Teach His Gospel of Repentance

Several years ago when I was released as a Bishop in our ward in Sandy, Utah, in the late 1980's, I was sitting on the stand as the new Bishop was talking. I was thinking what my church experience would be going forward, and turned in my scriptures to D&C 11. It was not a conscious choice. I was not looking for this particular section, but that is where I found myself when I opened my scriptures. I began reading, and as I did I was bathed in His Spirit. I had never before nor after, experienced anything like this. I was there, but not there, and was not aware of anything going on around me. I knew I was enveloped in His spirit. I began reading, or more accurately listening to the words I was seeing. 

"A great and marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men. Behold, I am God; give heed to my word, which is quick and powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword, to the dividing asunder of both joints and marrow; therefore give heed unto my word."

As I was reading the words I was also hearing a voice in the words, and the voice was speaking to me!

"Behold, the field is white already to harvest; therefore, whoso desireth to reap let him thrust in his sickle with his might and reap while the day lasts, that he may treasure up for his soul everlasting salvation in the Kingdom of God.

Yea, whosoever will thrust in his sickle and reap, the same is called of God."

I knew that I was being called of God to thrust in my sickle and reap, but I did not fully understand what that meant, even though I wanted to. I felt, however, that the meaning of the words would become clear as to what it meant for me to thrust in my sickle and reap.

"Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive; if you will knock it shall be opened unto you."

At this point it was clear that He was speaking to me, and as I was caught up in the spirit, I could not help but hear His voice in His words.

"Now, as you have asked, behold, I say unto you, keep my commandments, and seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion."

I was not mindful of asking, but perhaps my wondering what I was to do going forward, was the reason for being directed to these verses. He asked me to keep His commandments and seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion. It would take me years to fully comprehend and be prepared to do what I was being asked to do. I had thought that his commandments were the outward things I had been doing, and did not realize at that time that He had 'another or second' set of commandments (Alma 12:37; Moses 6:56) that he was speaking of, and in addition He was commanding me to do what He was asking of me in these verses. And Zion? I did not know much about Zion and the cause of Zion. However, it became clearer as I continued to listen.

"Seek not for riches but for wisdom; and behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be made rich. Behold he that hath eternal life is rich."

The spirit was now more discernable and I could not turn away from what I was hearing and feeling. I could feel the warmth of the light and His spirit in the words and I was excited, but also a little fearful to hear more.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation."

As I look back on this verse I have come to realize that the next words I heard were a link to what He means by 'doing much good in this generation.'

"Say nothing but repentance unto this generation. Keep my commandments, and assist to bring forth my work, according to my commandments, and you shall be blessed."

The specific call to say nothing but repentance meant that I needed to learn what He meant by repentance, not what I had assumed it meant. I was impressed that it would mainly be to members of the church to whom I would say nothing but repentance. At the time of this revelation to me, I did not know all that the call entailed, and the experience was so powerful that I did not stop to ask. I knew that He would tell me. The next words were so overwhelming that they left an impression upon my mind, heart and intellect, and I knew I was receiving this in the spirit of revelation.

"Behold, thou has a gift, or thou shall have a gift if thou wilt desire of me in faith, with an honest heart, believing in the power of Jesus Christ, or in my power which speaketh unto thee; For behold, it is I that speak; behold, I am the light which shineth in darkness, and by my power I give these words unto thee."

What wonder! He was speaking directly to me! It was His voice I was hearing! And the calling was getting more specific, but there were admonitions to ensure that I did not take this lightly.

"And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good--yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit."

Which I was experiencing at that moment! He then promised me the fruits of this Spirit, and at the same time admonished me to put my faith in Him.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; and then shall ye know all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive."

By this time I was overcome with His spirit, but could see clearly that I would be experiencing the joy of Him teaching me directly. It was then that He told me the tools I would need in order to do this work and how I was to use the tools.

"Behold, I command you that you need not suppose that you are called to preach until you are called. Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my rock, my church, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine. And then, behold, according to your desires, yea, even according to your faith shall it be done unto you."

This was what I was supposed to do--search and treasure up His words and know of a surety His doctrine, His gospel and His rock. But then again for the third time He said:

"Keep my commandments; hold your peace; appeal unto my Spirit; Yea, cleave unto me with all your heart, that you may assist in bringing to light those things (words) of which have been spoken--yea, the translation of my work (the Book of Mormon); be patient until you shall accomplish it."

Obviously I was not being asked to assist in the translation since that had been completed, but to assist in teaching what I would learn of His words in the Book of Mormon. He again tells me that is my work.

"Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength."

This was the fourth time He told me to keep His commandments, but then He said, and this became my work:

"Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed, then if you desire, you shall have my spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men."

But before

"But now hold your peace; study my word which hath gone forth among the children of men, and also study my word which shall come forth among the children of men, or that which is now translating, yea, until you have obtained all which I shall grant unto the children of men in this generation, and then shall all things be added thereto."

I did not comprehend all that He was telling me, but I knew that it would become a life long pursuit of His words to obtain "all" with the promise that more would be added. The next verse at first confused me.

"Behold thou art Hyrum, my son; seek the kingdom of God, and all things shall be added according to that which is just."

If He was speaking to Hyrum why did I feel that he was speaking to me? Was I mistaken? Had I imposed what I wanted to hear? No, I had not.

"Behold, I speak unto all who have good desires, and have thrust in their sickle to reap."

Even though there are three verses between these two, I was directed to this verse and heard and felt the power of His voice in His words speaking directly to me. I wanted it to be true. It felt like it was. But then to have it reinforced for me after thinking that it may only have been directed to Hyrum, was even more powerful, and I could not doubt!

He was, however, not finished.

"Build upon my rock, which is my gospel; Deny not the spirit of revelation, or the spirit of prophecy, for wo unto him that denieth these things; Therefore, treasure up in your heart until the time which in my wisdom that you shall go forth."

As I recount this experience, it is colored now by the fact that I have done and continue to do what He asked of me. I have spent the latter part of my life obtaining His word, teaching it and doing what I was called to do in this revelation to me, and He has blessed me with the spirit of revelation and the spirit of prophecy. As I write this and see all that I have learned, His last few words of this Section are a sweet testimony of the promises He kept.

"Behold I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  I am the life and the light of the world. I am the same who came unto mine own and mine own received me not; But verily, verily, I say unto you, that as many as receive me, to them will I give power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe in my name, Amen."

I want to say that as soon as I had this experience I went home and immediately began to more consciously seek to obtain His words, but I did not. In fact, it would be many years before I really caught the vision of what D&C 11 was all about to me personally. I have thought about this a lot since and can offer a few reasons, but I now know that certain experiences had to happen in my life before making the preparations complete. I needed to recognize this revelatory experience as my Road to Damascus experience and God's voice reminding me to "give heed to [His] word" and to experience my own lost and fallen state and my need to repent or to turn to Him. And I needed to quit searching for riches. Only then could I be prepared to teach others as I obtained His words. It was not sufficient to know of Adam and Eve's fall, or to know about the Atonement. Without experiencing my lost, fallen and sinful state, and my redemption through Him and His atonement, I would be as sounding brass and tinkling cymbals trying to say nothing but repentance to others without experiencing and receiving His gift of repentance.  

I would re-read D&C 11 many times after this experience, but without the same effect, and I wondered why. I learned later that it was because I had not yet kept His commandments, and had not yet quit searching for riches. "Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day" (3 Nephi 27:20). He had to teach me that to repent means to turn to him and rely wholly upon His merits and righteousness, not my own, and then validate that repentance by enduring in faith in Him to the end. 

I also later learned that it was not necessary to repeat the same feelings every time I read D&C 11. He had spoken to me through His words. I could not deny it, and the more I did what He called me to do, the more fully did D&C 11 open up to me. He also reminded me that I need not ask again. "Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten your mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou has been enlightened by the Spirit of Truth.... Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" (D&C 6:15;23)

The paradox was that I would have to search His words to know what it meant to repent and then 'keep His commandment' by repenting. I then realized why he told me four times to keep His commandments. He knew I needed to repent and turn to Him before I could do the work He was asking me to do. It was a prerequisite to fulfill my calling as He told me in D&C 11, and He knew that I did not completely understand the doctrine of repentance. It was only after having taken a path that many said would take me off the strait and narrow, that I began in earnest to follow the admonition I had received on that day when I was released as a Bishop. I needed to repent and be redeemed. Only then could I spend the rest of my life obtaining, giving heed and teaching His words and saying nothing but repentance unto this generation. However, by searching to find how I could avoid the justice of God and receive His mercy, I was doing the searching and treasuring up of His words.

I could write volumes of the things I have learned since receiving this revelation, and have in fact written some of my searching and treasuring up of His words. The writing became a way to learn and more completely cause His words to be planted in my heart and mind. Many of these writings are also personal to me reflecting what I was learning and experiencing about myself as I learned.  

As I have sought to obtain His word He has blessed me as He promised. He did give me a gift and I received that gift and rejoiced in it and in Him who is the giver of this gift. I have experienced His light, His spirit and His voice in His words. My mind has been enlightened and my soul has been filled with joy. I know of a surety His doctrine, His gospel, His church (as defined in the last verses of D&C 10), His rock. I put my faith in Him. He is the sole source of light and knowledge in my life. I have said nothing but repentance unto this generation and along the way learned that I too must continually repent and turn to Him. My faith in Him is that I rely totally upon His merits and His righteousness. I have learned to judge everything that is said in the world and in the church by His words. I see everything through His words including His prophecies. I can clearly see the future as spoken of by Isaiah and other Old Testament Prophets, by the Book of Mormon Prophets and by Jesus himself. I know of the darkness within me and the darkness that is in the world, and yet I follow His light which shines in the darkness. I am so blessed to have the Sword of Truth, which is the word of God, and which cuts through all the crap in the world.'

I have had countless opportunities to teach both in classrooms--gospel doctrine, primary and High Priests Group. However, some of my most rewarding experiences are spent teaching one-on-one, as well as special assignments. For example, another High Councilor and I were asked by our stake president to teach the Stake Presidency and High Council the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The high council member assigned with me had left his job as a banker to teach seminary. From his comments, and conversations I had with him, I knew we did not need to collaborate. We spoke the same language, and when we taught we both taught the words of life we had spent years treasuring up in our minds and hearts. The Holy Ghost brought these words to our remembrance and we taught His words. We both knew that 'what' Jesus taught and 'why' was more important than 'how' He taught.

See Post "Feasting On His Words" for one of the most unique teaching and learning experiences of my life.

The breadth and depth of His words still continue to amaze me. I can now understand more fully what Oliver Cowdery wrote about in his footnote to Joseph Smith History. "Man may deceive his fellow-men, deception may follow deception, and the children of the wicked one may have power to seduce the foolish and untaught, till naught but fiction feeds the many, and the fruit of falsehood carries in its current, the giddy to the grave; but one touch with the finger of his love, yes, one ray of glory from the upper world, or one word from the mouth of the Savior, from the bosom of eternity, strikes it all into insignificance, and blots it forever from the mind. ...the certainty that we heard the voice of Jesus, and the truth unsullied...is to me past description...." And I can now relate! (Joseph Smith History, Oliver Cowdery Footnote emphasis added)

I realized that He has hidden many things as a test to see if we are willing to search out His words like the treasures they are. I have spent the last 30 years really focused on seeking to obtain His words, searching out the priceless treasures, and treasuring them up, and I know I am not finished, and that I will still continue to learn from Him after I leave this life, as we only have a hundredth part of what He said to the Nephites. I have treasured up His words of life and can draw on these treasures now in any setting and at any time. His words are truth, light, spirit even the spirit of Jesus Christ. (D&C 84:45)

I have learned however, that there is also a frustration and an isolation that comes because of seeking and obtaining His words. Why? Because so few others speak the same language. I understand what Nephi felt when he said: "...I am left to mourn because of the unbelief, and the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men; for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be" (2 Nephi 32:7). While we are supposed to be continually nourished by His words (Moroni 6:4), we are instead fed what Elder Holland calls Spiritual Twinkies or as my seminary teacher friend calls it--fluff, or that which does not edify or nourish. In fact, sometimes I think we prefer it. I see this even in those close to me and it saddens me because there is so much more. We must stretch our minds to the highest heavens, said Joseph Smith, and not be content with fluff and Spiritual Twinkies and leave His words by the 'way side' (Matthew 13:19).

Should I accomplish my desire, as did Melchizedek, or should I fail to accomplish it, as did Noah and Moses, the important thing was that I was faithful in keeping God's commandments relating to my saying nothing but repentance unto this generation.

The things I have written are the result of wanting to learn and internalize more of His words. Some I would call 'study papers' and others 'articles' but most reflect the process of learning His words and how I experienced His light and spirit in His words. They also reflect how I heard and experienced His voice in what He revealed to others in the scriptures, and then revealed to me as I came to know the truth (His words). This was the Spirit of Revelation that each of us can experience. I have written as a method of reaching more people. As a result I have shared them with many, but discovered early on that there is an indifference to His words, or others do not understand that by His voice or the voice of His servants the words of God are the same.  

Nothing I have written is original. I take from many sources, the most important of which is the Standard Works. Where I do use ideas and even words from others, they, like the words of God have become my words, and when they do I feel at liberty to use them because I know those who may have first used them would want me to use them. They do not care who gets credit. I do not give any interpretation of any scriptures, but rely on the Lord to use the same terms and definitions consistently. My experience has been that the more I study, obtain, treasure up, learn and receive His words, the more likely I am to learn as His words speak to me, and as He promised, receive more.

As I mentioned, the Savior is the sole source of truth and light in my life. I listen to what others say, but rely on His words and the Holy Ghost to tell me if what others say is consistent with what He has said. I listen to hear the word of God for I know that whether by His "own voice or by the voice of (His) servants (D&C 1:38), it (the word of God) is the same. There are many ways I hear the word of God from others. Blogs, conversations, articles, books, talks, and General Conference have for me become ways to hear the word of God spoken by His servants, even though they do not always teach His words, or more accurately they sometimes mingle their ideas with His. I have learned to know the difference, and have been taught why it is so important to put our trust in God. He selects imperfect people to lead us to teach us to put our trust in Him. I have also learned that His servants are any who thrust in their sickle and reap and teach His words.

Another significant learning for me is that the more I seek to obtain and hear His words, the more He gives me. He has led me to find some of the scribes and teachers that He has sent to help us. He sends prophets, but also those with special gifts of knowledge to assist us in obtaining His words. I do no deny the gifts of the spirit and have met others with the gift of knowledge. I believe that this list of others is, by comparison, a short one, but I am so grateful to Him for leading me to them. The most significant for me has been Hugh Nibley. I have read all his works many times, and can say as Elder Neal Maxwell said of him, that Hugh Nibley has been the greatest scholar and defender of the faith (I would say truth) in these last days. Nibley's works can be found on the Neal A. Maxwell website, or the 20+ volumes of his Collected Works found at Deseret Book or at Amazon.

Another is Avraham Gileadi. I was introduced to his work by a friend of mine sevaral years ago, or I should say led to him by the Lord. His first book The Book of Isaiah, New Translation With Interpretive Keys From The Book Of Mormon, which is no longer in print because he has included its content in the ten other books that he has written, made such an impression on me that I could not stay ignorant about Isaiah any longer. Brother Gileadi opened up the Book of Isaiah to me, and I continue to be amazed at his gift of knowledge of Isaiah, other Old Testament Prophets and the Book of Mormon. 

Reading his books is an exercise in searching Isaiah as we have been commanded to do (3 Nephi 23:1) because he supports his commentary with more scriptures than is possible to absorb in several readings. Isaiah became important to me as I was studying 3 Nephi and read the Savior's words on Isaiah. I also learned that we cannot effectively teach or receive the word of God without the Spirit of Prophecy which is the testimony of Jesus, and to know the end time events and our response to them is a matter of life and death. I exhort you not to discount the writings of Bro. Gileadi. Every member of the church should read and study his latest book, Endtime Prophecy--A Judeo-Mormon Analysis.

There have been others who have influenced my desire to learn more, including several general authorities, living and deceased. Today I hear the word of God in some of Elder Holland's and others' conference addresses and recognize that we need to set our sights higher than the pulpit. I also love to read what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young taught. Isaiah asks: "Whom shall he give instruction? Whom shall he enlighten with revelation? Weanlings weaned from milk, those just taken from the breast?" (Isaiah 28 Giliadi New Translation). We should want more than line upon line, precept upon precept, and He promises us more. He wants to teach us directly. As Joseph Smith said a man is saved no faster than he gains knowledge, and that we must receive personal revelation. Keep in mind that when we search and hear His words we are being taught by Him. His words are truth, light, spirit, even the spirit of Jesus Christ, and we can hear His voice in His words (D&C 18:33-36).

My thinking is that these writings will be of value to some, if not all, of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and other family members. I had previously written a short book called Given By The Finger of God which was my first attempt to write what I had been learning for my children. I printed both a paperback and an e-book. There is now a 5th Edition e-book. I gave copies of this to my children and sent links for the e-book to some of my older grandchildren. I also gave copies to all my neighbors in Lehi. I am not sure what I expected, but the response was very limited. So I tried writing a blog www.fingerofgod.blogspot.com. I did not create this blog to gather followers really, but to give me a method to write what I was learning, and to benefit me in my studies, and perhaps share posts with family, friends and neighbors. To me it became imperative that I share the scripture narrative and contrast it with the pulpit narrative. I feel so strongly that what the Lord had blessed me with would benefit some of my family members and others. I am still hopeful. I would much rather be like Alma and the Sons of Mosiah and bring many to the love and mercy of our Savior, than like Moses and Noah who taught, but those they were teaching would not hear and repent. In either event I would have magnified my calling by teaching the word of God with all diligence (Jacob 1:19).

Hugh Nibley once said that he would rather spend five minutes with Moroni than a lifetime on the stand. I now understand what he meant and I feel the same.